Al-Anon and Nar-Anon: What They Are and How to Get Started

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are free, anonymous support groups for people affected by someone else's drinking or drug use. Founded in 1951 and 1968 respectively, both offer in-person and online meetings built on the 12 steps. This guide covers what they are, what meetings look like, and how to find one near you.

Who Are Al-Anon and Nar-Anon For?

You're watching someone you love destroy themselves with alcohol or drugs. You're helpless. You're exhausted. You don't know what to do.

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are communities for people like you.

What Is Al-Anon?

Al-Anon is a mutual support group for people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking.

Key facts:

• Founded in 1951
• Based on the 12 steps (adapted from AA)
• Free to attend
• Anonymous
• In-person and online meetings

Who goes:

• Parents, spouses, siblings, children of alcoholics
• Friends and coworkers
• Anyone whose life has been affected by someone else's drinking

You don't have to be the one drinking to be affected.

What Is Nar-Anon?

Nar-Anon is the same idea, but for people affected by someone else's drug use.

Key facts:

• Founded in 1968
• Same structure as Al-Anon
• Focuses on drug addiction (not just one specific drug)
• Free, anonymous, in-person and online

Who goes:

• Family and friends of drug users
• Anyone whose life has been affected by someone else's addiction

How Do Al-Anon and Nar-Anon Help?

In these meetings, you:

• Find people who understand what you're going through
• Learn you're not alone
• Get tools for dealing with difficult situations
• Work on your own stuff (you can't fix them, but you can work on you)
• Build a support system

What Are Meetings Like?

Formats:

• In-person meetings (church basements, community centers)
• Online video meetings
• Phone meetings
• Large speaker meetings and small discussion meetings

Structure (similar to AA):

• Opening readings
• Introductions: "Hi, I'm [name], and I'm affected by [their drinking]"
• Sharing
• Closing readings

What people share:

• Their experience with their loved one's addiction
• How it's affected them
• What they're learning
• How they're setting boundaries
• What helps

What Are the 12 Steps in Al-Anon?

Al-Anon has its own 12 steps, adapted for family members. They focus on:

• Accepting what you can't control
• Improving your own life
• Letting go of trying to fix the alcoholic or addict
• Finding peace regardless of their choices

How Do You Find Meetings?

Al-Anon:

• al-anon.org, meeting finder
• In-person and online
• Many cities have multiple meetings

Nar-Anon:

• nar-anon.org, meeting finder
• Also in-person and online
• Growing network

Both:

• Meeting apps available
• Open meetings (anyone can attend)
• Closed meetings (for members only)

Are Al-Anon and Nar-Anon Religious?

Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are spiritual, not religious. They use "higher power" language, but:

• You define your higher power however you want
• You don't have to believe in God
• Many atheists and agnostics participate

The focus is on community and personal growth, not religion.

What Makes These Meetings Different From Therapy?

Unlike treatment or therapy, Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are:

• Peer-run. No professionals. Just people who've been there.
• Free. No fees, no insurance.
• Ongoing. You can go as long as you want.
• Anonymous. You don't have to share more than you want.

Does Al-Anon and Nar-Anon Work?

Evidence suggests that family involvement improves outcomes for the person with addiction, and for family members themselves.

People in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon often report:

• Less anxiety and depression
• Better boundaries
• Improved relationships
• A sense of community
• Better coping skills

How Do You Get Started?

1. Find a meeting. Use al-anon.org or nar-anon.org.

2. Go to one. Just listen at first.

3. Go back. One meeting isn't enough to know.

4. Get a phone number. Connect with someone.

5. Try different meetings. Different groups have different vibes.

What Should You Expect at Your First Meeting?

First meeting:

• Nervousness (everyone feels that)
• Not knowing what to say (you don't have to share)
• Feeling like you don't belong (you do)

After a few meetings:

• Starting to recognize people
• Feeling less alone
• Learning tools that help

Should You Choose Al-Anon or Nar-Anon?

Both help. Which to choose?

Al-Anon: If alcohol is the main problem.

Nar-Anon: If drugs are the main problem.

Both: If it's both, try both. See which fits better.

What Should You Do This Week?

• Start today. Find a meeting this week.
• Try three meetings. Give it a real chance.
• Get a phone number. Connection matters.
• Keep going. This is a long-term support system.
• Be patient. You're learning a new way to live.

You're not alone. Millions of people have been where you are. They found help. So can you.

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