What to Do If Someone You Know Relapses

Relapse isn't the end. It's a setback. Knowing what to say, what to do, and when to step back can make the difference between enabling and genuinely helping someone get back to recovery.

What Isn't Relapse?

Your friend. Your sponsee. Your family member. Someone you know relapsed.

What do you do? What do you say? How do you help without enabling?

Relapse is not:

• The end
• A failure
• Proof they're hopeless
• Your fault

It's a setback. It happens.

What Should You Do When Someone Relapses?

1. Take a breath.

Don't panic. Don't react. Breathe.

2. Check on their safety.

Are they alive? Are they okay?

Call 911 if needed.

3. Express concern, not judgment.

"I'm worried about you" not "You failed."

4. Don't enable.

Help them get help. Don't help them use.

5. Set boundaries.

You're not responsible for their recovery.

What Should You Say to Someone Who Relapsed?

Helpful:

• "I'm worried about you."
• "How can I help?"
• "Do you want to get back to meetings?"
• "I'm here for you."
• "What do you need right now?"

Not helpful:

• "I told you so."
• "You always do this."
• "You're going to kill yourself."
• "I can't deal with this anymore."
• Blame or shame

How Can You Help Without Enabling?

1. Encourage getting help.

• Call their sponsor
• Go to a meeting with them
• Help them get to a treatment center
• Give them a phone number

2. Don't rescue.

• Don't give them money
• Don't help them hide
• Don't cover for them
• Don't enable

3. Take care of yourself.

This is hard. Get your own support.

When Is It Okay to Walk Away?

Stepping back is sometimes the only option left:

• They don't want help
• They're dangerous
• You've done all you can

It's okay to step back. You're not responsible for their recovery.

What Should Sponsors Do After a Relapse?

If you're sponsoring them:

• Stay in contact
• Talk to them
• Encourage getting back
• Don't judge
• Get support yourself

What Are the First Steps Right Now?

1. Check on their safety. Are they alive?

2. Express concern. Show you care.

3. Encourage getting help. Point them toward support.

4. Set boundaries. Don't enable.

5. Take care of yourself. You need support too.

Don't panic. Show love, not judgment. Get them to meetings. Help them, not their use. Protect yourself and get your own support.

You can't fix them. But you can help. Show love. Point to help. Take care of yourself.

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