Al-Anon FAQ
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Supporting someone
How do I support them and still have a life of my own?
When someone you love is drinking, using, in treatment or in recovery, you may be unsure how to help. Find information about what you can offer, what you cannot decide for them and getting support for yourself.
Your people
Help for the person doing the supporting.
These guides cover first conversations, returning home from treatment, setting limits and a possible return to use. Available reading includes preparing a conversation and calling a treatment program on someone else’s behalf.
Free to read
Guides for this topic.
Choose a question below. Every guide opens without an account.
Conversations & choices
Guide · 4 min read
How can I support someone without taking over their decisions?
You want to help, and it can be hard to watch someone struggle with a task you could do for them.
Guide · 4 min read
How do I start a conversation with someone whose substance use worries me?
You may have rehearsed this conversation and still dread starting it.
Guide · 3 min read
What can I do when someone does not want the help I am offering?
They have said no, and you may feel that the help you worked to find has been thrown back at you.
Guide · 4 min read
How can I turn an offer of support into an arrangement that helps?
You want to help but may not know what would be useful, and the person you are asking may have little energy to work it out for you.
Treatment, homecoming & setbacks
Guide · 4 min read
How can I help while someone I care about is in treatment?
Someone you care about is in treatment, and you may be relieved they are there while feeling shut out of what is happening.
Guide · 4 min read
What should we agree on before someone comes home from treatment?
You may be glad someone is coming home and afraid of what home will feel like.
Guide · 3 min read
How should I respond if someone I care about drinks or uses again?
You may feel frightened, furious or too tired to have this conversation again.
Your own support & limits
Guide · 4 min read
How can I find support for myself when someone else’s substance use affects me?
You may be so used to talking about the person who uses substances that you no longer know how to answer when someone asks about you.
Guide · 4 min read
How can I protect my sleep, work and relationships while supporting someone?
You are answering calls, rearranging work or staying awake, and the rest of your life is starting to feel the cost.
Guide · 3 min read
How can I set a boundary that I can actually keep?
You may know that you cannot keep lending money, answering calls or giving up sleep, and still feel cruel saying so.
From across SoberSphere
Related reading.
Guide · 3 min read
How can I have one clearer conversation about a practical problem?
You need to discuss a ride, bill or household task, but the conversation may carry a much older argument into the room.
Guide · 4 min read
What can I do when I contact treatment services for someone else?
Someone you care about is struggling, and making a call may feel like the only thing you can do today.
Beyond SoberSphere
Public resources for this topic.
There is support for you, too. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon offer twelve-step family fellowships; SMART Family & Friends offers a secular approach. Read about each to see what fits your needs. Practical caregiving information is also available below.
These links open the publisher’s website. No SoberSphere account is needed. Each organization sets its own access rules and costs.
Nar-Anon Family Groups meetings
Official meeting search for people affected by someone else’s addiction.
SMART Family & Friends
Free supporter meetings and downloadable tools.
Family Caregiver Alliance services by state
Free state-level navigation to caregiver resources.
Member Benefits — in development